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Six Reasons To Choose Mediation To Resolve Your Dispute On Separation.

There are a number reasons why people turn to mediation to  resolve disputes.

Mediation is a way of reaching resolution of a problem with the minimum of confrontation and hostility and without the ill feeling and hurt that can often follow a court case which, by its very nature, will result in a winner and a loser.

Mediation helps parties to come to an agreement in a neutral setting.

Civil and commercial mediation generally begins with all parties in the same room and, because communication is direct rather than through solicitors’ letters, this encourages understanding and cooperation. Smaller sessions may also be appropriate. Family mediation begins with individual sessions but soon moves on to joint meetings where issues can be explored and solutions identified.

Mediation discourages confrontation and promotes cooperation by focusing on the shared nature of the problem, rather than the entrenched positions into which parties may have settled. This can be absolutely vital if there will be an enduring relationship between the parties after the dispute at hand has been resolved – for example, in family and neighbourhood disputes or those between employee and employer or student and school.

Below are six reasons to choose mediation to resolve your dispute on separation.

1. Cost
Mediation costs a fraction of the amount of a court case. In civil mediation the costs are agreed in advance by all parties and are based on the estimated length of the mediation session and whether facilities are to be provided. These costs are split between the participants, generally half each. Family mediation is a little less predictable, but generally speaking all the issues have been resolved within 5 or 6 sessions, often fewer.

2. Speed
Everyone who is familiar with the courts or reads the newspapers regularly will know that legal cases take an incredible amount of time to come to trial. Mediation is arranged at the mutual convenience of participants and is invariably much quicker.

3. Time
The wait for a court date is a long one. The courts are extremely busy and it can be months between hearings. Your lives are left on hold pending a further court date. In addition, in a children case, if you need a CAFCASS report http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/ they can take 16+ weeks. Reports from other experts can take as long, if not longer.

4.Court proceedings are stressful. The nature of the process is adversarial. Correspondence is frequent, there is much documentation. Few relish the prospect of being cross-examined by experienced counsel.
Perhaps the final benefit of mediation is its cost in comparison to litigation. Legal action is very expensive and the higher in the legal process the case proceeds, the bigger the bill.

5.Control over the situation

You decide the issues you want to talk about and the priority. You are able to make offers and suggest proposals for agreement which are without prejudice – if the mediation fails, the Judge won’t know the concessions you were prepared to make to reach an agreement in mediation. You can take a break if the mediation gets too much and step out of the meeting. You decide how many meetings you need to have, and when. Ultimately, an agreement reached is one decided by you, with the concessions you are prepared to make.

With Court, the Judge, who doesn’t know you, your children, your ex – decides the future for your family.

6, Less confrontational
The mediation process tends to be less confrontational and less antagonistic than the alternatives. That is the best to resort to solve dipute matters with dignity.

Contact Brav,for further details. We’re here to help you out.

Mental Health Of A Child- Understanding What Is Childhood Trauma? Causes, Types, Effects, PTSD. Questions and How can Brāv be useful to your kid?

What is childhood trauma?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, childhood trauma is defined as: “The experience of an event by a child that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects.”

Bad things happen in life as children grow up. Some are obvious, like a natural disaster that destroys a home, physical abuse or death of a parent. Others can also rock a child’s sense of safety and well-being, like community violence or substance abuse in a parent. Something as simple as being in a car accident or a child overhearing frequent, intense arguments between his or her parents can be traumatic for some children.
Learning how to understand, process and cope with difficulties – even tragedies – is a natural part of a child’s development process. But sometimes children get stuck. An experience, or repeated experiences, may leave a child with an overwhelming sense of fear and loss, making them feel that they have no safety or control over their lives. For some children, these feelings become so intense that they get in the way of their continued physical, emotional, social or intellectual development. This is childhood trauma.

Unaddressed, trauma can have long term effects on the quality and length of a person’s life. But the good news is that there are things you can do make your child less susceptible to trauma, identify trauma reactions and get the support you need to help your child recover.
Some Leading Causes

CAUSES:

The most common causes of childhood trauma include:
Accidents
Bullying/cyberbullying
Chaos or dysfunction in the house (such as domestic violence, parent with a mental illness, substance abuse or incarcerated)
Death of a loved one
Emotional abuse or neglect
Physical abuse or neglect
Separation from a parent or caregiver
Sexual abuse
Stress caused by poverty
Sudden and/or serious medical condition
Violence (at home, at school, or in the surrounding community)
War/terrorism

How does trauma affect a child?

Traumatic events can affect children’s moods and their ability to regulate their emotions. … They may have developed coping skills to help them survive the repeated trauma that cause them to appear numb to emotions. Physical Development. Physical development may be affected by certain kinds of trauma.

Types of Trauma and Violence

Learn about the different kinds of traumatic events that can impact the behavioral health of individuals, families, and communities.

Traumatic events can include physical and sexual abuse, neglect, bullying, community-based violence, disaster, terrorism, and war.

SAMHSA’s TIP 57: Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services – 2014 and SAMHSA’s National Child Traumatic Stress Network’s Types of Traumatic Stress (link is external) webpage provide in-depth information about the many different kinds of trauma and violence.

Sexual Abuse or Assault:

Sexual abuse or assault includes unwanted or coercive sexual contact, exposure to age-inappropriate sexual material or environments, and sexual exploitation. The Department of Justice’s (DOJ) Office on Violence Against Women defines sexual assault as “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.”

Physical Abuse or Assault:

Physical abuse or assault is defined as the actual or attempted infliction of physical pain (with or without the use of an object or weapon), including the use of severe corporeal punishment. Federal law defines child abuse as any act, or failure to act, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation of a child.

Emotional Abuse or Psychological Maltreatment:

Emotional abuse and psychological maltreatment are considered acts of commission (other than physical or sexual abuse) against an individual. These kinds of acts, which include verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and excessive demands or expectations, may cause an individual to experience conduct, cognitive, affective, or other mental disturbances. These acts also include acts of omission against a minor such as emotional neglect or intentional social deprivation, which cause, or could cause, a child to experience conduct, cognitive, affective, or other mental disturbances.

Neglect:

Neglect is the most common form of abuse reported to child welfare authorities. However, it does not occur only with children. It can also happen when a primary caregiver fails to give an adult the care they need, even though the caregiver can afford to, or has the help to do so. Neglect also includes the failure to provide an individual with basic needs such as food, clothing, or shelter. It can also mean not providing medical or mental health treatment or prescribed medicines. Neglect also includes exposing someone to dangerous environments, abandoning a person, or expelling them from home.

Serious Accident, Illness, or Medical Procedure
Trauma can occur when a person experiences an unintentional injury or accident, a physical illness, or medical procedures that are extremely painful and/or life threatening.

Victim or Witness to Domestic Violence
According to DOJ’s Office on Violence Against Women, domestic violence is defined as: “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.” Domestic violence includes violence and abuse by current or former intimate partners, parents, children, siblings, and other relatives.

For information on the Department of Health and Human Services’ (HHS) work with domestic violence, visit the Administration for Children and Families’ Family and Youth Services Bureau.

Victim or Witness to Community Violence:

Extreme violence in the community, including exposure to gang-related violence, interracial violence, police and citizen altercations, and other forms of destructive individual and group violence is a recognized form of trauma.

Historical Trauma:

Historical trauma is a form of trauma that impacts entire communities. It refers to the cumulative emotional and psychological wounding, as a result of group traumatic experiences, that is transmitted across generations within a community. Unresolved grief and anger often accompany this trauma and contribute to physical and behavioral health disorders. This type of trauma is often associated with racial and ethnic population groups in the United States who have suffered major intergenerational losses and assaults on their culture and well-being.

School Violence:

School violence is described as violence that occurs in a school setting and includes, but is not limited to, school shootings, bullying, interpersonal violence among classmates, and student suicide. Youth violence is a serious problem that can have lasting harmful effects on victims and their families, friends, and communities

Bullying:

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may experience serious, lasting problems. Trauma can be a consequence of bullying, which can lead to mental health issues, substance use, and suicide, particularly if there is a prior history of depression or delinquency.

Natural or Manmade Disasters:
Trauma can result from a major accident or disaster that is an unintentional result of a manmade or natural event. Disasters can occur naturally (such as tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, wildfires, mudslides, or drought) or be human-caused (such as mass shootings, chemical spills, or terrorist attacks).

Forced Displacement:

Forced displacement is a traumatic event that occurs when people face political persecution and are forced to relocate to a new home (as an immigrant or through political asylum) or become a refugee.

War, Terrorism, or Political Violence
Exposure to acts of war-, terrorism-, or political-related violence such as bombing, shooting, and looting can cause trauma in an individual.

Military Trauma:

Military trauma refers to both the impact of deployment and trauma-related stress on people who are deployed and their families. Significant numbers of returning service men and women experience mental and/or substance use disorders associated with military trauma and/or military sexual trauma.

Victim or Witness to Extreme Personal or Interpersonal Violence:

This type of trauma includes extreme violence by or between individuals including exposure to homicide, suicide, and other extreme events.

Traumatic Grief or Separation:

Traumatic grief and/or separation may include the death of a parent, primary caretaker, or sibling; abrupt and/or unexpected, accidental, or premature death or homicide of a close friend, family member, or other close relative; abrupt, unexplained and/or indefinite separation from a parent, primary caretaker, or sibling due to uncontrollable circumstances.

System-Induced Trauma and Retraumatization:

Many systems that are designed to help individuals and families can actually cause trauma. For example, in child welfare systems, abrupt removal from the home, foster placement, sibling separation, or multiple placements in a short amount of time can retraumatize children. In mental health systems, the use of seclusion and restraint on previously traumatized individuals can revive memories of trauma. Further, invasive medical procedures on a trauma victim can re-induce traumatic reactions.

What are the symptoms of trauma?
Emotional & psychological symptoms:

Shock, denial, or disbelief.
Confusion, difficulty concentrating.
Anger, irritability, mood swings.
Anxiety and fear.
Guilt, shame, self-blame.
Withdrawing from others.
Feeling sad or hopeless.
Feeling disconnected or numb.

What is PTSD in a child?

Posttraumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is diagnosed after a person experiences symptoms for at least one month following a traumatic event.

The disorder is characterized by three main types of symptoms: Re-experiencing the trauma through intrusive distressing recollections of the event, flashbacks, and nightmares.

How Can Brãv Help Your Kid?

As for the information about Children’s Health Care City Center on the Huffington post,in the light out the Article we would like to extend our hand of support to your kid.

Brāv is an early-stage company focused on developing products that will curb destructive conflict.
We employ a human-centered design process to understand our users and build tools that are much needed.

Brāv trains anyone in conflict management who in turn manage the conflicts of others directly on our site www.brav.org

Brāv can provide the online counseling and fire sides as well.

Can you cure trauma?

As with most mental illnesses, no cure exists for PTSD, but the symptoms can be effectively managed to restore the affected individual to normal functioning. The best hope for treating PTSD is a combination of medication and therapy. So, Brāv can be used as a useful therapatic session for your child.

How does post traumatic stress disorder affect everyday life?
PTSD can be a debilitating disorder and its symptoms can have a negative impact on a number of different areas in a person’s life. In particular, the disorder can negatively affect an individual’s mental health, physical health, work, and relationships. So, we here try to make a positive impact in one’s mind by ensuring the support one gets from us to overcome the negatives.

If you decide to talk about depression with your child, you may be concerned about saying the “right” thing. However, just having an open and honest discussion with your child can provide her with much-needed support.

As far as the “saying the right thing” goes, we’re here to help you.

You want to make sure that your child understands what you are saying and is not confused or bored by the discussion.
Make sure that you are using words that your child can understand.

We Understand and take the following steps to make sure that they feel “Understood”.

Being Compassionate.

Empathize.

Good listeners.

Confidant.

Your child needs to know that you recognize and respect his feelings. Even if you do not quite understand his thoughts, avoid quipping, “What do you have to be depressed about?” or “Don’t be ridiculous.” Comments like these just cause a child to keep his feelings to himself or become defensive. We understand that.

We allow your child to talk openly and express his opinions and thoughts. Avoiding to interrupt or judge him. Knowing that he has someone he can confide in help to sort out his feelings.
Talking to your child about his depression can be a very important part of his recovery.

HELP YOUR CHILD.

The First Step Act: What is FSA? Titles divided, Opinion, Suggestions, Helpful Participation Of Brāv

What Is The First Step Act?

The latest such effort to come to our attention is the ”FIRST STEP Act”, introduced by Reps. Doug Collins (R-Ga.) and Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) in the House, with a companion measure introduced by Sens. John Cornyn (R-Texas) and Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) in the Senate.

The First Step Act is not a magical elixir. It won’t solve every problem facing our criminal justice system. But it will immediately make a difference in the lives of as many as 4,000 inmates the day after it is signed into law.

We are a better America when we embrace our empathetic tendencies.
We are a better America when we see prison sentences as a last resort, to be used only when we know for a fact it is the best way to generate safe outcomes.

Some people have argued that one of the elements of the bill, the rule that moves people closer to home, can threaten public safety. But copious evidence proves that being incarcerated or housed closer to home results in safer outcomes.

Some also worry that the Act will further reinforce Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ harsh approach to crime and punishment. But it’s unclear how legislation that uses unconditional language about mandated reform somehow would make the lives of prisoners worse or his power greater.
Sessions will not remain Attorney General forever, and with criminal justice reform gathering supporters on both sides of the aisle, the likelihood can only grow that in the future we will have a true reformer in the position.
I suspect the real fear is that Jeff Sessions will use some of the provisions of the Act in ways that are racially disparate, while at the same time sentencing continues to over-punish people of color. This is a weighty concern, and we should fight every day to address racial disparities in sentencing and remain incredibly vigilant.

But this is not a new concern, nor is it something the First Step can make worse.

Some also object to the use of risk assessment tools to inform sentencing decisions, arguing they can be used in a biased way.

TITLES:

To understand better, here are the four separate titles:

STEP Act:
Title I — Recidivism Reduction
Title II — Bureau of Prisons Secure Firearms Storage
Title III — Restraints on Pregnant Prisoners Prohibited
Title IV — Miscellaneous Criminal Justice
Titles II and III are of little moment to this examination. Titles I and IV, however, are.
Title I. Takes on various aspects of existing federal incarceration practices and policies with the idea of substantially altering them. For instance, the bill would provide significant benefits to federal prisoners who participate in various “evidence-based recidivism reduction programs” that are intended to minimize the risk that prisoners will reoffend upon release. It does so by requiring that such programs be examined and further defined by the attorney general, in consultation with the director of the Federal Bureau of Prisons, the director of the Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts, the director of the Office of Probation and Pretrial Services, and the directors of the National Institutes of Justice and Corrections.
Chief among the benefits that accrue from participation in the resulting programs is that prisoners would earn “good time” toward sentence reductions — 10 days for every 30 days of sentence, and an additional five days for every 30 if they are assessed twice in a row as “not having increased” their recidivism risk. In other words, prisoners could potentially cut their sentencing time in half through these programs. Many observers might see it as a low bar to cut sentences in half simply because prisoners don’t become more incentivized to reoffend, but that is a general statement not applicable to removable aliens, as explained below.
Prisoners would also earn free telephone and videoconferencing privileges (30 minutes per day; 510 minutes per month) via participation in the recidivism reduction programs.
The kinds of programs envisioned under recidivism reduction, include in part the following:
Social learning and communication, interpersonal, anti-bullying, rejection response, and other life skills;
Family relationship building;
Structured parent-child interaction and parenting skills;
Classes on morals or ethics;
Academic classes;
Cognitive behavioral treatment;
Mentoring;
Vocational training;
Faith-based classes or services;
Civic engagement and reintegrative community services; and
Prison jobs.
Title IV. Under the catch-all “Miscellaneous” provisions, establishes two new mandates.
First, there is a presumptive standard (subject to certain caveats such as prisoner classification and facility availability) that federal prisoners should be incarcerated at penal facilities no farther than 500 miles from their “primary residence”.
Second, Title IV also provides that ”The Bureau of Prisons shall, to the extent practicable, place prisoners with lower risk levels and lower needs on home confinement for the maximum amount of time permitted.” (Emphasis added.)
Immigration Enforcement Concerns Raised by the Bill.

OPINION:

When it comes to prison reform, a little something is better than a lot of nothing.
That is why the bipartisan First Step Act, passed recently by the House, deserves to be approved by the Senate and signed into law.
Progressives are sharply divided on the measure, mostly because of what it doesn’t do. The bill — sponsored by Reps. Hakeem Jeffries, D-N.Y., and Doug Collins, R-Ga., and strongly pushed by President Trump’s son-in-law and adviser, Jared Kushner — does nothing to address the main problem, which is that this nation sends far too many people to prison and keeps them locked up far too long.
Truly meaningful change would involve sentencing reform, for which there is some bipartisan support in Congress but not enough to get such legislation through both chambers. It is hard to imagine that Trump, who tries so hard to project a tougher-than-thou image, would sign a bill significantly reducing sentences. And Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who believes in throwing away the key, would have a conniption fit.
The First Step Act ignores the “front end” of the problem — sentencing — and focuses exclusively on the “back end.” It would provide $50 million a year for five years in new funding for education and rehabilitation programs in federal prisons, encourage inmates to participate in those programs by giving them credits for early release, and allow some prisoners to serve the balance of their sentences in halfway houses or home confinement.
Proponents estimate the bill would allow up to 4,000 inmates to be released from prison immediately. This is a small fraction of the total federal prison population of nearly 184,000. But try to explain that disparity to those 4,000 men and women and their families.
The bill also requires that inmates be housed at prisons within 500 miles of their homes, that inmates not be shackled during childbirth and recovery and that sanitary products be provided to female prisoners.
The House vote on the First Step Act was 360-59, with Democrats sharply divided. Some of the most progressive members of the Democratic caucus supported the bill and some voted against it. The NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund lobbied against the bill; the National Urban League urged approval.
There is reason to question whether the bill’s benefits will be as great as supporters claim, and of course there is reason to prefer more comprehensive legislation that also deals with sentencing. But I see no justification, in this case, for opposing incremental progress — especially since real progress is nowhere in sight.
It is true that we will never begin to reform our shameful system of mass incarceration and warehousing until we address sentences. We send to prison far too many men and women whose nonviolent or minor crimes should be handled without incarceration. African-American and Hispanic men are unfairly targeted by sentencing rules and biased police practices. While in prison, inmates get essentially no preparation for rebuilding their lives upon release. Far too often, they revert to crime and wind up back in prison.
Opponents of the First Step Act argue that passing this limited measure would relieve pressure on Congress and the administration to address the issues at the heart of the prison problem.
My question is: What pressure?
Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, wants to push sentencing reform legislation through the Senate, and I hope he succeeds. But how is anyone going to get such a bill through the House, with its much more conservative GOP majority? How is anyone going to get Sessions on board? Or convince Trump to sign it?
If Democrats take control of the House in November, they will be able to revisit the issue anytime they want , but they will have real clout to go along with their passion.

Nothing in the current bill precludes bolder, more comprehensive action when the votes, and the president’s pen, are lined up and ready..

Suggestions For Reforms:

The ultimate prison reform is to keep people out of prison in the first place. This is where state-level reforms can make a difference.

If there is to be any meaningful change in prison populations nationally, the states must step up.

Here are 3 effective reforms they should consider.

First, make it easier for people to get a job. Criminology is imprecise, but research and anecdotal evidence suggest a great way to keep people out of the criminal justice system is to let them work. The stabilizing influence of a job and a steady income cannot be overstated, so removing needless barriers to employment such as occupational licensing requirements should be a priority for states. At a minimum, they should make sure that licensing laws don’t contain “good moral character clauses,” which can automatically disqualify anyone with any type of criminal record from ever getting licensed.

Second, states should focus on enforcement. Even when most adults have a job, crime will occur, and that’s where good policing policy comes in. Michigan, with its dubious distinction of being home to some of the most dangerous cities in America, had remarkable success in reducing violent and property crime in these places through the Secure Cities Partnership, which brought together state and local law enforcement. An effective combination of hot spot patrolling (focusing policing resources on high-crime areas) and community policing (building police-community ties) saw crime rates dip as much as 40 percent in some areas. And fewer crimes translate to fewer prisoners.

Third, use problem-solving courts more frequently. These legal innovations afford judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys and offenders the flexibility to address factors in a person’s life that may be contributing to criminal behavior. Drug courts, sobriety courts, mental health courts, veterans’ courts and other specialty dockets connect offenders to treatment, counseling and other services, and enforce accountability through the use of short, frequent jail sentences.

These courts also are important for prosecutors, who traditionally have been equipped with only the hammer of formal prosecution and may feel pressure to rack up convictions to help secure reelection. Problem-solving courts give them another tool, helping them bolster public safety sustainably by addressing underlying issues unique to their communities — something that may become increasingly important as the opioid crisis develops.

From a policy perspective, the FIRST STEP Act would be just that: a good first step.

Helpful Participation Of Brav:

Brāv is an early-stage company focused on developing products that will curb destructive conflict.
We employ a human-centered design process to understand our users and build tools that are much needed.

Brāv trains anyone in conflict management who in turn manage the conflicts of others directly on our site www.brav.org

Brāv can help with their conflicts even taking place within family.

Brāv can provide the online counseling and fire sides as well, discussion group once they are released.

Participating in discussion threads would help them with coping and job skills, which in turn will help them reenter society as citizens more capable of productive reentry.

Helping the ones bullied-

New inmates violently extorted, assaulted, and “recruited” (the kindest way to put it) into gangs. Weak punished and strength defined solely by the willingness to engage in brutality.
Being in prison is a process of constantly having to watch your back (and your front). When trouble comes, it comes quickly and seems to inevitably sweep bystanders into the vortex.
Prisoners of the Federal Bureau of Prisons are judged entirely on records made up only by correctional officers and unit counselors which are inherently more subjective, less testable over time, and based on less outcomes-based data, than risk-assessment too. This gets them to be more depressed.

So, in addition to allowing inmates to more quickly reconnect with children and family members, Brāv can actually help them to build a productive life.

There’s always a way to redeem.
You need the right support and motivation to be on the track.

Continue reading The First Step Act: What is FSA? Titles divided, Opinion, Suggestions, Helpful Participation Of Brāv

True Equality

EQUALITY

“I am superior to you”, “No, I am”.

This is our everyday life story now. Feminism was such a great concept. Yes, I would use ‘was‘ because nowadays people are using it in a hate speech. Few women are using it to show how superior they are,how they don’t need a man in their lives. When It’s not about needing a man in your life,it’s about empowering yourself.

We don’t have to go shoulder to shoulder with each other and compete in everything.
Being extremists is not a good solution, no good can come out of it.

True equality is when you could do the things you want to,without any hindrance of the other respective gender. Where you support and respect each other,(where you pay equally for the bill share). Equality is not about competing or blaming the other gender, accusing them of things or using it hate speeches.

You might be wondering Who am I? ,
Am I the right person and can I decipher?
Why did it struck a cord with me?

So, we’ve been listening to some things every now and then,
” Women are best suited for the household chores,they belong there right in the kitchen”.

Other things such as,
“You are a woman,you should how know to cook”.
“You are a woman,you must be getting married soon and in that case why do you want to study or work so hard?

I’m 19,but that doesn’t mean that I’m not the right person to understand.
Ever since childhood from the age of 5, I’ve been listening to such things through TV commercials,serials,witnessing someone not being able to pursue their dreams every other day because of the limitations set.

Just a week ago, a boy in my class made this statement for me:
” You will graduate with a law degree in hand,but you’ll get married as soon as you step out of this college. So, you better start learning to cook to be a good wife or bahu.”
It hit me hard.

Okay people!
Let’s just get some perspective here,
Being an independent person doesn’t mean that you cannot cook and being a woman doesn’t mean that you should know how to cook.
It is an individual’s choice.

We too have dreams and goals,
there are women out there who’s aim is not to get married ,
their focus is on their career and that they want to achieve something and acquire a good position in life.

Is there someone who can answer me?

When will the time arrive, that being a girl means there will be a savings account but not devoted solely for marriage purposes?
When will there be no FIRST WOMEN TO DO SOMETHING headline,that it’s just another woman to achieve it?
When will there be a equal pay to both the genders for doing the same thing with equal calibre?
When will women start supporting each others for once,which is also the form of true empowerment?
When will the time arrive that we no longer have to talk about being at par?
When will both the genders accept each other unabashedly?

When will this change?

Emma Watson in her UN speech (launching #heforshe project) has been quoted saying-

Feminism by definition is: “The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.”

We should all ask this to ourselves, a deep provoking thought left to us by Emma Watson in her speech.

 

  1. If not ME, then WHO?
  2. If not NOW, then WHEN?

#trueequality for this century.

Thank You

In response to a student’s question about the “norm” of judging others in contemporary society:

Judge Not-When anyone judges another to be unworthy, he places himself at the right hand of God. No man, be he a king, a doctor, an attorney, a peace officer, or any secular title which could be used here, has the right to place himself as better than another. Regardless of what faith or religion (or lack of), humans are universally different from one another, not better, and not worse.

Socioeconomic stratification is the result of many factors, but one is not an inherent quality of being. Contemporary man has the unfortunate habit of comparison, the most contemptible form of judging another, which leads to jealousy at many levels and coveting, one of the most egregious sins. The only valid comparison is to one’s self. “Am I better than yesterday? Can I strive to be better tomorrow? Does my comprehension of ‘better’ align with being as good and virtuous as humanly possible, knowing I am prone to human error in my actions?”

“Live not to the expectations of others, but to the attainment of the best ‘self’ possible based on where you were, where you are, and where you could hope to be, without violating the ‘being’ of another.”

#metoo webinar on April 5th, 2018 “Workplace Power Imbalance”

The issue of workplace conflict has become a viral issue for contemporary society. At no point in our history have victims stepped forward in these numbers. On the one hand, it is awe-inspiring to see the empowerment being exhibited. On the other, conflict management professionals need to ramp up and support the burgeoning number of people in need of our vital competencies.

Join us for a webinar exploring this explosive subject. April 5th, 2018. For more info, go to:   http://bit.ly/2G4iSM6

 

See everyone there!

Attributes of a Good Mediator

There is no formula for figuring out who the “best” mediators are – there is no governing body that determines minimal qualifications for a professional mediator. Even if there were, education and training don’t guarantee competence, because a “good” mediator also possesses certain internal attributes that aren’t necessarily learned in a classroom. They just simply can’t be learned in a classroom. They are internal traits which are either inherent or learnt from one’s own environment.
This article lists external and internal attributes that the most effective mediators possess.

External attributes

Mediators in the United States are not required to meet a uniform standard of education or training for beginning to practice mediation; each state has its own requirements, or, in many cases, none at all. It depends from situation to situation and place to place.
For this reason, it can be difficult to evaluate the qualifications of a potential mediator. We recommend paying particular attention to the following external attributes of mediators you are considering to hire:

Training/Education

How much training has the mediator received?

Was any of the training specific to a certain area of practice (e.g., family, landlord/tenant)?

How recently was the mediator trained? Do they attend refresher courses and keep up on current mediation techniques?

Where was the training conducted?

Does the mediator have a degree in dispute resolution or a related field? If so, from where (e.g. online, law school, university)?

These questions do held relevance, even though just a degree is not enough to know the competence of a mediator.

Certified or certificated? (If required in your state)

Is the mediator actually certified or certificated?

What organization issued the certificate?

What are the requirements of that certificate?

When was the certificate earned?

This will let you know the ‘value’ of you mediator, and will give you a fair abour his or her skills.

Experience

For how long has this mediator been in practice? Full-time or part-time?

How many mediations has this mediator conducted, and how many were similar to yours?

Does this mediator specialize in the area of your particular dispute?

This one is important. More the experience, more the tact. Experienced mediators often have higher success rates than the ones who are not that experienced.

Professional memberships

Does this mediator belong to an organization requiring adherence to certain standards?

Does this mediator serve on the board of any relevant organizations?

This again gives an idea about the standing and influence of a mediator.

Philosophy and approach

What philosophy does this mediator apply to their work? Do they describe their work as facilitative, transformative, and/or evaluative? Take note of how the mediator describes their process, then consider what that would look like when applied to your case.

What kind of interaction with disputants does the mediator like to have?

Fees

Are fees charged by the session, by the hour, by the case?

What is included in these fees?

This one is also  important and should be decided beforehand so there are no disputes about it afterwards.

Internal attributes

What about the things that can’t be listed on a profile page? There are five ways to know about the competency skills which cannot be presented on the paper:

Investigative

Effective mediators are able to quickly identify relevant information. They ask questions to gain an understanding of both the facts of the case and of parties’ underlying interests and motivations. This investigation helps them in understanding and resolving the case.

Empathetic

Mediators should handle the knowledge of parties’ underlying interests with empathy and consideration. They are willing to ask emotionally difficult questions and do so in an unbiased and respectful manner. A non empathic mediator has lower success rates.

Inventive and problem-solving

Effective mediators help disputants discover common ground and guide them toward mutual understanding from there; they are willing to be inventive with unusual situations. This will help you reach faster to a resolution.

Effective presenter

Verbal expressions, gestures, and eye contact are consistently and effectively used by good mediators to structure an environment in which disputants are willing to re-examine their positions. They maintain a safe and relatively calm atmosphere with confidence and communicative body language.

Capably manages interactions

Mediators should keep the parties on track and working toward the issues they have identified as central to their conflict, and call for breaks or private caucuses when needed. A good mediator knows when allowing tension to rise will be productive and when to effectively defuse tension. These tactics must demonstrate sensitivity to the disputants’ needs (e.g., emotional, cultural) and remain neutral.

After the mediation

After you select your mediator – and hopefully, settle your case – it’s time to help others consider this mediator for their own cases. A testimonial and/or recommendation of your mediator provides vital information for other people in conflict, particularly about the mediator’s internal attributes that can’t be seen on a profile page.
Additionally, a testimonial helps to spread the word that mediation is a quick, confidential, and cost-effective way to settle disputes out of court. A mediator should be selected very carefully and in no haste.

Buddy’s Point to Ponder

Knowledge is the one acquisition that can never be stolen or destroyed. However, it can become irrelevant or obsolete. The truest value of acquiring knowledge, therefore, is not the knowledge itself but acquiring an understanding of how to evolve through an ever-present pursuit of relevance when one attains new knowledge.