Be honest. How often do you grin and bear it when you would much rather scream, cry or hit the source of your troubles? We are all fragile…and it just takes one tap to wreck us like a glass fallen to the floor.
But…have you heard of the song “Fragile”by Tech N9ne ft. Kendrick Lamar?
Despite having almost 3 million viewers, “Fragile” remains an underrated song that touches on the aspects of human psyche and how constant derision affects it…to the core.
“Fragile” ultimately touches on the side that most of us wish not to admit to: we are all just that. Let’s get Brāv.
See for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKs5OsT4dIY
Similarly, more and more adults are acknowledging work place conflicts, street harassment, and conflicts with friends and family. We are often told that to be an ‘adult’ means to dismiss these issues, although the tension often continues to build up.
Ultimately, annoyance comes about when you find yourself not able to achieve a desirable result. Too many times, we allow ourselves to dismiss our frustrations in lieu of tackling it. Overtime, dismissing, rationalizing and disengaging leads to a build up within us, increasing our levels of stress and illness – both physical and mental. In actuality, we really need an outlet for getting out our fears and frustrations.
In general, we do not know how to handle our conflicts effectively. There is a break down in communication all over the world and everyone must be held more accountable. It is in fact why we are seeing more and more school and work place violence and shootings, homicides…and suicides.
Brāv helps foster targeted communication with the source of our frustrations before it gets to that level.
Let’s learn how to better cope with life – together.
You know that gut feeling that tells you something isn’t right? Start listening to it. Too often we dismiss our brain’s way of protecting ourselves in order to remain polite, non-confrontational or for other various reasons, including fear.
Ask yourself what is causing you to feel scared, angry, resentful, upset, etc. If you can pin point a particular situation, person or issue involved, you’re closer than most people.
Like many things, getting harassed or bullied is subjective – based on your own point of view. Ultimately, if you feel like you’re being bullied, than you are. If you don’t feel good about an interaction – no matter who is involved – and yes that includes friends, family members and other trusted individuals, than you should reassess your relationships with them. You don’t want to ultimately endure through weeks, months, and even years of abuse only to assess then.
In case you still might not know, common signs of being harassed or bullied include:
Physical trauma – have bruises, cuts, bumps, etc from another that were not by accident, from a sport, and/or you did not consent to? Are they touching you simply and you have asked them to stop and they continue?
Emotional trauma – is someone stating hurtful comments to you? Are they ignoring you? Dismissing your feelings or point of view? Shunning you from others? Spreading rumors, lies or attacking your reputation? Screaming at you?
Sexual trauma – Are they saying inappropriate sexual comments? Are you you getting touched inappropriately without permission?
Proximity – are they too close for comfort? Are they invading your personal boundaries?
Online abuse – Are you getting spoken badly about online? Is your intimate information or web cam personal details getting spread to others?
Do you feel bad around another without explanation?
Let’s solve all of these and more, effectively through Brāv.
How do you respond to a belligerent attacker? You can ignore, avoid, “kill with kindness,” assert yourself, confront or grow violent. Missing any?
Often times bullies aren’t interested in acting civil; they want to win, they want submission, and they want – power. A small minority are looking to be put in their place, but overall, bullies aren’t interested in anything but dominance. So what else can be done?
Some bullies need to learn from another and gain another perspective on a situation. Using virtual and interactive games like Grand Theft Auto is fun as players can place themselves in a situation that they could never do in real life. Similarly, when users engage in our Brāv challenges, everyone can place themselves in the position of another whom they could not have understood without this.
We think that these games in conjunction with speaking to those we have disagreements with through our face to face chat platform (or avatar with facial expressions or using our instant messaging platform) would be the best way for bullies to finally understand the position they place others in.
Everyone wants to be brāv, but if you think about the times when you were truly, actually brāv, how often was it a conscious decision versus just a reaction to something unjust, dangerous or a slight?
I’m referring to the idea of emotion versus logic. Unless you were simply born assertive, we often have to put effort into speaking our minds or acting with courage. Even more, when we often start thinking about a courageous act, we get nervous, we second guess ourselves and our confidence is often wavered.
Most times, the secret to being brāv is practice, like anything else. In fact, esteemed author, Mark Twain once noted that, “courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”
How does this apply to Brāv? Well, becoming a Brāv One is a conscious choice of mastering skills that will help you throughout life – particularly skills to better interact with others and help manage issues between yourself or others. Also, signing up to deal with conflicts you might have on our face to face platform allows you to bravely communicate with those who you would likely have just simmered in feelings of fear, anger or resentment.
What more, being brāv also includes sharing your thoughts. You can do that by writing articles on this site or submitting personal stories in which you wish the brāv public to help you solve.
It’s easier to describe than to give a definition:
Ever find yourself in the middle of people in a disagreement, attempting to find a middle ground? Yup, you’re a Brāv One.
You love watching Court TV and find yourself either agreeing with Judge Alex, Judge Judy, Judge Brown and the others or finding ways that they could have improved their ultimate decisions.
People tell you you’re the best listener…and weigh all sides of an issue carefully.
You’re constantly thinking about day to day situations you observed.
You regularly search online about how to deal with situations, and
are frustrated that there is very little realistic advice and information on the internet.
You have a deep fascination for why people do certain things, act in certain ways and react to situations the way they do.
You savor an experience as much as you savor a delicious meal.
You enjoy predicting and finding solutions, including in movies, and clearly see the issues, how it could have been easily solved, and as a result, could reduce a standard 2 hour flick to only thirty minutes.
You like making others happy.
Sign up to become one & win a chance to become one of the first now: www.brav.org
One of the most agreed upon best inspirational speeches ever comes from the movie Rocky VI. Rocky, a celebrity boxer, hits his son (who is clouded by the frustrations of living under his famous father’s shadow) with a string of words that not only seems to uplift him, but everyone who listens:
“[T]he time c[a]me for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
What does this have to do with Brāv? Well, Brāv knows life isn’t perfect either, and we often have to go through a lot of unnecessary strife. As a result, Brāv provides the resources to keep on moving forward. Getting hassled or maligned? Don’t internalize it, weighing you down; let’s hash out our differences with Brāv.
Like Rocky, Brāv encourages, “now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”
Brāv knows your worth. Brāv knows you’re better than that. Do you?
Last week in New Jersey, a judge upheld the decision that schools, students and parents accused of bullying can be named in lawsuits. In defense, the schools involved in this particular case stated that they had notified everyone of the alleged bullying that was occurring, but the fact that there had been little to no resolution, still placed the particular schools, parents and alleged bullies at fault.
What does that mean for you? Well, it could very well mean that this new decision coming out of New Jersey could serve as an example for other states to follow. In addition, this determination could easily spread to other areas of life, including work place harassment, organization conflicts and more. That means there is a higher chance of you getting sued if you have been or are involved in a conflict or even if you simply own a business or work at a school where bullying and harassment takes place.
Bringing disagreeing parties to the table before conflict gets so out of hand that litigation is considered could prevent a lot of hassle, money and time in the long run.
Brāv provides this middle ground – an effective way to reduce the likelihood of any conflict increasing through the skill of a Brāv One intermediary who listens to each side of the argument. The best part is that all of this occurs within the comfort and privacy of your home or elsewhere.
Even more, implementing Brāv as a plan that your entire school, place of work or organization as a whole uses, allows for stronger accountability as everyone now has an opportunity to be heard, while adding the ability to create consequences unique to each school, work or organization if an individual is not cooperative.
The key is communicating to everyone involved and finding a solution in which everyone can live with. Let’s get brāv enough to reach a solution amongst our peers before suing is even considered an option.
A ‘plan’ is defined as a strategy, and that term was very much meant here. Specifically because communication – any communication – should be well thought out.
Think about some of the most terrible comments that someone has made about you. Was it said in anger? Was it stated in jest? Was the statement blurted out? Now think about hurtful comments you have made about others. How often did you really plan these comments before expressing them?
We often state comments that we later regret…but that could all be avoided if our first instinct was not to “win,” “speak first” or “speak last.” Communication is about training ourselves to be calm, patient and really think about what we want to express to another.
If you have ever watched leaders of an organization or even a country, they have words written down and have crafted their speech (with the help of a team) to ensure that they are able to communicate exactly what they intend. This is to avoid inevitable blunders.
We’re going to still make mistakes with our words, but planning ahead of time will significantly reduce the amount of apologies you’ll make later…to others…and yourself.
Do you know the difference? One is making a conscious decision to interact with another, get to know their thoughts, who they are, in a respectful way that both enjoy. The other is feeling entitled to the time of another, regardless if said person is busy, not interested or in a private conversation.
A good example happened to a friend of mine. He was in a quiet conversation to the side with another coworker only for an acquaintance to approach them without saying anything. They politely tell him that they are in an (obvious) conversation, yet the imposing man states his full awareness of that and says he is curious, so it is okay for him to be there. After politely telling the imposer again, he still refused to leave. In fact, he chose to repeat everything he had already heard, expecting them to share in their private conversation. When is this acceptable? Think to yourselves about this.
Approaching another to learn from them, or tell them something that they can learn from is amazing and what makes the best interactions. Approaches can be genuine, without a hidden agenda, and an understanding on both ends that they can share (or not share) as much as they would like or nothing at all. That is respect and a two way street.
Imposing on another with a false sense of entitlement leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth; the two coworkers are now wary of the third coworker, and the imposer still did not get to find out what their conversation entailed.
Think about your intentions before approaching others. If it is not give and take, on a more or less equal basis, then think again about coming up to another so as to avoid a potential conflict.